Diary
2024/11/27
*Eating bunch of seaweed for snacks*
2024/11/21
Caution: negative rambling
It is too hard to interact with people who know what's normal. I'm trying to be normal, but people are still very vigilant. Even "being yourself" doesn't work.
Hey, I don't believe people who claim they're accepting fanart because I've seen them end up so disappointed with my work. Multiple times. After all, I don't have the right to be their fan. Another time to endure till my hyperfixation ends. I've been wishing I could be involved in huge fandoms or communities to be able to hide, over and over again! I am not choosing not to be in any fandom by myself.
I remember one of my ex-mutuals in my last fandom said my art could not endure to see due to its terrible anatomy. I remember one of my ex-friends in uni said all my hobbies were cringe and also said "You are thinking being in small fandoms is cool. You are intoxicated by being different from others." I remember my family and my friends are always more amazing than me and appreciated by people when I bring them to every community. Everyone is a better person than me so I'm tired and should be alone. I'm so tired about I have too much emotions to people.
Summary: I've been wishing I could be involved in huge fandoms or communities to be able to hide, over and over again.
2024/11/19
Sudden desire for Filipino cuisine... I knew the menu of the Filipino restaurant in the next town was renewed. I love Asian cuisines especially Japanese and Korean cuisines, and it seems Filipino cuisine is added to my favourite too. I may like Indonesian cuisine too because I really like Indomie lol
Seliously, why is Indomie such an addictive??? Regarding also the cost, it's a good deal compare to other Asian noodles so my university life is with Indomie.
2024/11/18
I'm nervous about everything everytime, but at least this site keeps me sane. I just need to decide where to start on making the shrine. Maybe... the writing about how I knew vocaloid/vocalsynth, and then making a list of my favourite UTAUs. Of course, I have to finish my term successfully first...
2024/11/17
Heading to the final weeks so I might not have time to do something fun...
I did nothing during the reading week but at least I was playing with cats. Relief moments.
I'm in Bluesky these days but actually, I'm not getting along with it. I feel unknown fear about posting something except art there. Wow I didn't know my social skills were this worse. I guess I'm not good at talking to people even about the things I like. OK leave me alone for now...
About the site development, I adjusted this diary page; the Accordion feature on the dates and the scroll bar for the main texts were added. I also added the fun(?) facts in About page!
2024/11/09
Reading week Yippeee! I have a lot of stuff I want to do! and also a lot of stuff I have to do...
2024/10/31
Happy Halloween! Of course, I can do nothing today due to my procrastination and bunch of assignments dues, but I'm going to eat my saved smarties yeah. Also, I submitted my Halloween drawing for a contest of a candy shop in the town so hopefully I might win and get a free surprize candy bag...I hope I can win.
2024/10/24
I'm looking forward a reading week seriously.
2024/10/15
Sometimes...I feel everyone except me has 48 hours in a day.
2024/10/12
I had Thanksgiving dinner :) Going back to finish assignments...
2024/10/11
It's cold as hell. wtf
Anyway I gonna try to observe northern lights tonight after work. AAh I have too much to do even though it's Friday night.
P.S. I couldn't see any northern lights at all but I had a good walk under the beautiful starry sky :)
2024/10/10
Sleepiness vs. appetite!!!
Urge to eat rice balls with seaweed since I remembered I bought Kirkland seaweed from Costco (cry). It's actually almost midnight though...
Anyway, Thanksgiving weekend is coming yay :D (midterms and assignments afterward...) I'd like to start setting up the shrines soon, but I'll be busy for a while.
2024/10/09
I doodled a lot last night and should work on assignments now...Yes, I am a professional procrastinator.
My body hurts due to using a laptop too much for searching and testing layout for shrines so I have to take a break from technology...once I finished all assignments :(
By the way, I ate frozen steamed dumplings from Costco today and it was sooo good :)
2024/10/08
There are some reasons why I use my broken second language.
- I wanted to.
- This is me.
- Who cares.
Yeah that's it. This sometimes makes me awkward but this awkwardness is literally me so.
At first, I was using a mastodon account for my ramblings in English. However, I started feeling shame about it. Here, I don't need to care for that shame because this whole website is silly and no one might come here. Who cares about a website no one watches.
...Having said that, I deeply appreciate any visitors and apologize for the inconvenience of this awkwardness.
And the status cafe confirmation email is not coming yet. Dang
P.S. It finally came :)
Another P.S. OK. I tried for few hours but the widget doesn't work well :(
2024/10/07
I'm sure I must sleep but website settings are getting really fun. The main settings are done so now I have to think about Hobbies section... I may go to find a different layout for them. Also, I'm still waiting for the status cafe confirmation email... I hope it comes soon.
2024/10/06
I started to set this silly website up last night and worked on it till 5 am. I can't find the way to fix a weird problem with Home section:(